Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
