David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
