the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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