Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm too high and old for this...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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