yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
