Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I said "one day" and that day is not today
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
