Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
