I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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