i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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