It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just google imaged poop.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
