I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
