the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He felt like a one man threesome
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize