you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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