This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
