eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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