I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
