Plan B is the new Plan A
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
