So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
