Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
