PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
