im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
