The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
