He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will be naked everywhere
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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