Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
