How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
40s are totally the cure
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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