i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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