shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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