My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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