just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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