Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize