So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
