Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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