Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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