he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
