How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
