But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize