Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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