She's JV to your varsity
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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