i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Text me some of your sweat
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
