I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
