he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize