he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
