Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
