She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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