did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
