Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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