When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
