Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just high enough for therapy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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