Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
