Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
