I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
