sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So vagazzling was a success
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
