so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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