Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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