that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
