I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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