In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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