She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
