Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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